The Interpreter of Perceived Slights

 

 

I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking. Someone smarter than I, of which there are many, would have come up with something useful from all this thinking – a Covid vaccine, a cure for world hunger, a way to filter out fake news – but that is not what I do with my thinking time. 

 

No, my friends, what I do is wake up insanely worried and think of all the ways that my feelings are hurt. Yep, total waste of time. I rerun scenarios through my head where a friend didn’t say hello and I assume it’s my fault. I think about how I’m always the one reaching out to a friend and immediately assume my overtures might be unwelcome. And, worst of all, I overthink any and all social media comment interactions and responses. It’s a torturous game, especially at 4:20 am when I can’t turn my brain off. 

 

I have always been a worrier and my guilt response is strong. So strong that I often joke about titling my memoir: “I Feel Bad About Everything.” The only person that feels worse about everything is my Mom, so you know that it’s genetic. 

 

We’re living in an incredibly divisive time. I’m sure I’m not the only one weighing and measuring social media interactions. And, to be honest, I’m doing a bit of judging, which is never good. 

 

I realize that the core of all of this is social media. For all the good that it CAN do – reuniting old friends, allowing friends all around the world to stay easily connected, creating a groundswell of support for good causes – it can also be absolutely the WORST. I have friends, SMART friends who have tried social media and immediately realized that they couldn’t handle it. One of my very best friends said: “I constantly felt like my life fell short of everyone else’s life.” This friend is an amazing person with SO many friends. If she felt like that, imagine how those of us with smaller social circles are feeling. 

 

I know the answer here is less social media. (Yes, I’m addicted. Yes, I should quit. No, I problably won’t.) 

 

So here’s my action plan: 1) Cut back on social media. 2) Assume everyone’s intentions are good. 3) Mind my own damn business. 

 

We’ll see how it goes. 

Why I'm Voting for Joe

Very shortly, many of us will receive our mail-in ballots for the November election. Today, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to tell you why I’m voting for Joe Biden and I’m going to ask and beg and plead for you to do the same. Yes, I am totally violating my own “no politics” rule on social media. (Yes, I’ve posted on social justice issues, but almost never on politics.) 

 

I believe voting is a deeply personal right and privilege, so I’ve never asked someone who they are voting for. I also don’t believe in shaming people for who they vote for. (And please do not do that in the comments. Not cool.) 

 

 For all of my adult life, I’ve voted Republican. I did so until 2016. In 2016, everything changed – the candidates, the landscape, our tolerance for intolerable behavior…the list goes on and on. It was brutal and, unfortunately, it still is. I think you’ll agree that we live in a deeply divided nation. 

 

I’m voting for Joe Biden because I’m hoping for a return to respectability, truth, the common good and decency. I’m hoping that the office of the president will no longer be used as a prop to stage political conventions. I’m hoping that name-calling and middle-of-the-night tweets announcing policy changes will go away. We need structure and accountability. We need an administration that cares about people from all races, backgrounds, sexual orientations, political affiliations, religions (or lack thereof) and income levels. We need someone that knows that diversity – in our boardrooms and our government - is of the utmost importance. We need someone who believes that science is absolutely imperative and if we don’t listen to scientists, our world and our children’s future is in grave danger. 

 

I believe that Joe Biden will stop sending mixed and conflicting messages about the Coronavirus pandemic. He will gather true experts to help us heal, do what’s needed and move on. 

 

I’m hoping that we will once again have someone who is a president for ALL the people, not just those that attend rallies and deify him or her. We need someone that will reach across the aisle and bring our elected leaders together to stop lobbing insults and start creating legislation for all of us. 

 

I also think the fact that Joe chose, as a running mate, a woman of color is incredibly important. That sets a groundbreaking precedent and example for young girls who dream of being leaders. Shouldn’t our government look more like our country does? 

 

Is Joe Biden a perfect candidate? No. NOBODY IS. But I feel strongly that he’s the type of person that would sit down with someone and actually LISTEN to their opinions, even if they disagree with him. That’s what we need more of than anything right now. 

 

Oh and if you’ve been getting those postcards that say that he and Kamala Harris are socialists, that’s a lie. It’s NOT true. He’s also not going to defund the police or take your guns away. He’s not. 

 

Look, I’m WAY out over my skis here. So far out, I may regret this and end up being the social media version of the guy in the Wide World of Sports intro. (Young kids, you’ll have to look that up.) In my everyday life, I avoid conflict at all costs. Maybe it doesn’t seem like it here, but I’m incredibly sensitive to criticism and spend way too many late nights worrying about social media interactions. 

 

But there’s SO much at stake here. Our country needs healing, and I think a Joe Biden/Kamala Harris  administration can do that…or at least start. Thanks for reading. Please be kind to each other.