In My Next Life

From time to time, I make a joke about what my "next life" will be. You know, the one that will happen after I die. This assumes, of course, that we are all reincarnated into a new person. I say things like: "In my next life, I will have a smoking hot body, but a lousy personality." 

This morning, I was thinking about the lives that other people lead. I thought of their homes and whether they were clean or dirty, organized or chaotic. There was no jealousy in my thoughts, simply wondering what it would be like to lead a different life. I like to think that my life is fairly well organized and not chaotic. I do not, however, have some of the things that chaotic lives entail - a large family, lots of pets, grandchildren, tons of friends, lots of socializing. 

My life is fairly small, but rich. I don't have a lot of friends. I'm friendly with a lot of people, but there are few that I would call close, although I do pride myself in being able to reach out to lots of different people, regardless of how close we are. This is a huge benefit of texting - sending a quick note to someone when you think of them. 

Anyway, my small life is kind of quiet. It's me, my husband and my dog, sprinkled with a nice dose of our kids and extended family. When I was younger, I envied so many peoples' lives. I spent too much time wishing I had their house or their bodies or their families. The green monster was large in me. What a stupid waste of time. 

I've been SO blessed, which, of course, makes me think of the worst case scenario: What if I lose all of this? I'm a bit of a doomsday prepper (not in that way) and I work pretty hard to avoid experiencing uncomfortable things. This, like envy, is a waste of time....except for one thing - appreciating the good while I have it. I'm trying to do this more often. I look at my dog, who I adore, and get sad thinking of life without her. But I know it'll happen...hopefully not for a long time. There's nothing I can do, except love and appreciate her while I have her.