Yes, in a stroke of cosmic timing, the hot flashes started last week. When I finally get the parents into Assisted Living and my daughter back to school and really empty out the nest, nature decides to throw me a curve ball and push me into menopause. Sigh.
I know, I know. I'm damn well old enough. Many of my friends started years ago, but I thought I might escape it, somehow. As if I got a pass from the ickiness of old age and I'd quietly descend into my sunset years without incident. Nope. Not gonna happen.
Actually, they're not really hot flashes. A friend wisely called them "surges" and that's exactly how they feel. It's like drinking a pot of hot coffee on a really warm day. Suddenly, you just have this overwhelming urge to remove a layer of clothing...quickly. It's tolerable, just really weird. So that's what's new with me....
So I haven't been posting in a while. Life has generally settled down, except for most Tuesdays and Thursdays when I do the marathon trip to the Assisted Living Facility, pick up Dad, take him to one or two PT appointments, drive him home and then drive me back home. Here are the only two bad things about this whole scene: 1) Dad isn't much of a talker. The car rides are kind of long and awkward. 2) Sciatica. Doesn't hurt unless I'm sitting down...which I am for 2 hours during this commute.
Other than that, it's been pretty good. Except for the fact that I feel like Dad and I are completely wasting our time doing this PT. He does his exercises...sort of. But his shoulder isn't really better and his gait isn't really better. And yet, despite that, he decided to head down to the dining hall without his walker the other day. Even the nurse saw him and offered to go up to their apartment and get it, but he insisted that he didn't need it. I feel like that's not a good thing, but perhaps it might improve his strength?
Here's a nugget from a recent doctor appointment:
Nurse: So, do you have any big plans for the weekend?
Dad: Not really...except for sky diving.
He's a trip, isn't he? And Mom is just eating up the Assisted Living lifestyle. She's gone to Bingo, Dice, Church, manicures, Exercise Your Brain Classes, Yoga...she's doing it all. I'm SO proud of her. It's like she was imprisoned and she's been set free. She says she's overwhelmed by the choices and the activities, but I can see that she's come alive. And she says that Dad seems to like it when she leaves him so he can have his peace and quiet. Is he safe there alone? Who knows.
Oh but there was a bit of a drama there the other day. Mom said they had a meeting during which all the residents could bring up any complaints. One woman, who Mom said is heavy and Dad said "told us that nobody likes her," apparently monopolized the meeting. Mom said everyone was getting upset with her. And to make matters worse, Mom said this woman sits at their table during meals and "your Father HATES her." Oh boy. But as Mom was telling me this story, One Eyed Marilyn, their other tablemate, came up and told Mom that she'd complained and the disliked woman wouldn't be sitting with them anymore. Like a friend said, it's like Middle School Lunch all over again! I'm glad for Mom and Dad (and Marilyn) but feel kind of bad for that woman. How awful it must feel to be old and unliked!
But all seems good, knock on wood. We're settling into a routine, Mom and Dad seem content and I feel like maybe that's the best I can ask for.
Meanwhile, I'm having a load of fun (insert sarcasm font) with the healthcare system. Holy crap. I'm not awesome, but I can't help but wonder, how do old people who don't have a child or someone to help them, deal with medical appointments and healthcare red tape? It absolutely makes me lose my sh*t. I can't help but feel absolutely daunted by the idea of adding more appointments to my parents' calendar. And yet strangely, that calendar also seems to be the one thing that give my Dad's days purpose. Funny how that works. I guess it's a small price to pay.
I'll leave you with a charming video starring old people. I love this.
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