This is my mind on worry.

This morning, as I was still in bed at 4:50 am, my mind was going 8,000 mph. Here's what I was thinking:

- What if Dad isn't sitting properly?
- What if his pressure sores are coming back?
- What if he's not drinking enough water?
- What if he's not doing his PT exercises?
- What if the nurse at the assisted living facility never responds to my request to watch him do his exercises?
- What if the nurse isn't very good?
- What if they're screwing around with their meds?
- What if it's a creeper nurse who is mean to old people?
- What if Mom doesn't stay relatively healthy?
- What if Mom and Dad grow to hate where they live?
- What if I can't get between PT appointments today AND feed Dad lunch in between?
- Should I move the car in between PT appointments?
- What if I never have time to exercise again?
- What if we do all this PT and then Dad just continues to decline?
- What do I do when Mom has an appointment and Dad doesn't?
- Is Dad safe to leave on his own?
- What am I, crazy?!
- What if the funding doesn't come through and they can no longer afford to stay in their apartment?
- If they have to come back here, will I lose my mind?
- What if we run out of money and our kids have no money and we are old and need care?
- What if I don't have time to do everything this week?
- What if I never have time to do anything ever again?
- If I lose my mind, who will take care of Mom and Dad?
- What if the dog's incision doesn't heal properly?
- What if the vet says I can't board her while we're gone this weekend?
- What happens if Dad declines quickly and they are no longer fit to be cared for at this "level" in the assisted living?
- Am I losing my mind?

I'm certain there were more questions, but I think you get it. And yes, you can see a trend - it's all about the future and "what if?" I exhaust myself with all of this. Some days, I have to just go with one hour at a time.

It's daunting, I tell you. Daunting.