Waiting for the other shoe to drop

Shhh...do you hear that? The click-clack of a walker? The dull sound of the Today show from a closed-door room? The shuffling of aged feet on a hardwood floor? The slamming of doors by arms that are too old/achy to do it quietly?

I don't hear it either and that makes me smile. It's BLISSFULLY quiet here and I'm enjoying every second.

Remember this line from the song "Big Yellow Taxi?":

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone  

I sort of feel the opposite. Mom and Dad have been gone 4 days. I know what I've got and I'm soaking up the quiet, the clean, the lack of pill-sorting, the not cooking or preparing food...the normalcy. It's absolute HEAVEN. How did I not appreciate this in the past?

But let's get back to them. Life seems to be settling in for them. I say "seems" because, honestly, I won't quit with the worry. I was talking to my sister-in-law (who blessedly was checking in because she didn't see a post here for days) and we talked about our friends who also have elderly parents who seem to be "waiting for the other shoe to drop." The parents have dementia or bad hips or legs or arms or something and there's been a small incident or two but they're hoping that nothing will happen. But we all know, unfortunately, that something will, and they're/we're just waiting for the next event that will upset the apple cart of life and send them/us into a new phase.

Although Mom and Dad are safely and, seemingly, well-adjusted to the assisted living facility (the photo is a peek at their apartment,) I still have worries. Mom is doing a great job navigating the facility, despite her significant vision challenges. Most importantly, she's figured out who to contact if she needs help or answers. That's huge. It means they're independent again, albeit in a different way. I'm so proud of her for taking in some of the activities there, whether it's the "Exercise Your Brain" class or a game of dice. She chuckles when you ask her about it because I'm sure she was as nervous as a freshman at lunch on the first day of school and yet she just threw herself out there. I never realized she had that moxie. God, I pray I do at her age.

Dad is being...well, Dad. He follows behind her to meals and has made his first request for cereal and milk in their apartment. Mom has wisely discouraged that, knowing that he can get that food in the dining room and if they start that, he won't want to leave the apartment. Again, she's a sage...and my new idol.

They're not crazy about the food, but I'm steering clear of that conversation, mostly because I can't fix or change it. It is what it is. It's probably better than what they made for themselves at their house, but less tasty/interesting than what we served here. (Who would have guessed that anyone would think that about MY cooking?)

Yesterday, they were visited by a podiatrist who took care of "regular maintenance," something that I did here very badly and reluctantly. Hoping the dentist will follow soon as Mom is terribly concerned about that.

The best part is that Mom feels free to leave Dad in the apartment and go and participate in activities. She was so trapped in their house, so this is a new freedom for her. This is where the worry hides: How long will Dad be safe to be left alone? She's in the same building, just downstairs. And yet, it's hanging there, in the back of my mind - likely in the back of hers too.

Dad seems good. I think he's grateful to not feel beholden to someone, living in their home. He's confused how he's able to afford this new life. (Frankly, I am too, but Hubby is the finance guy.) He asks few questions and seems happy sitting in his new chair, channel surfing and staring at the TV. (Which works GREAT, by the way. No remote control issues at all - AMEN.) I'd worry about him more if I could see him, which I, thankfully, don't. Maybe that's best. Is he drinking enough water and moving around enough? Probably not and yet he seems pretty good every time I've checked in on him.

So that's where we are. Living a "new normal." I'm spending a lot of time commuting in my car, but it's worth every second if it means that Mom and Dad can have a new safer, happier, independent life.

Fingers crossed that this will last for a while....