Sad Alert

It wasn't giving up driving or moving out of her house. It wasn't needing a cane. It wasn't writing her will. It wasn't living in an assisted-living environment. It wasn't requiring a walker. It wasn't turning 82 or 83 or 84.

No, what finally made my Mom sad was finding out that she'd be getting a Life Alert bracelet. A few falls that, thankfully, didn't hurt her, made us worried enough about the times when she might fall and not be near the pull cords in her apartment. My concern was hearing that she fell and nobody found her until the next time her medication was dispensed, which could be hours.

But this sadness really took her, and me, by surprise. She's been so flexible, SO resilient. I came to believe that she was our own family's Weeble. (Remember Weebles - they wobble but they don't fall down?) I forgot to remember that she doesn't want to be old any more than any of us do.

"It just makes me realize that I am old and that eventually I'll die. It's one of those thoughts that you ignore most of the time...and then something like this (the Life Alert bracelet) forces you to face it," said Mom.

I get it. Being my Mom's primary "caretaker" (and I use that term loosely because she mostly cares for herself), I sometimes tend to get bossy and patronizing and, well, kinda parental about things. Let's be honest - roles have reversed. I have to remind her to do things, to wear different things, to be careful, to call with anything she needs. Sometimes, I admit, I've gotten crabby. I've admonished her about over-worrying about any number of things. Like an old married couple, we annoy each other from time to time.

But now, my heart breaks a little, because I understand why she feels sad and this is one of those things that I can't just dismiss. She's right. She's getting older...and little by little, things are aging. I tend to brush away comments she makes but I see little changes. I can't protect her from these, which hurts. Sounds like parenting, doesn't it? Sometimes we can't protect our kids from the things that hurt the most.

In the meantime, she's mentioned that she talks to other residents where she lives. Some have Life Alerts and won't use them. Others have them and have no need. I can only hope that friendship and time will help her adjust to her new "companion." It's the best I can do.