I’m mad….and I’m sad. I’m frustrated…and I’m confused. As difficult as I thought this pandemic would be, I had no idea that the really hard part, for me, would be right now when we could safely leave our homes and are merely asked to wear face masks when we are in public spaces with other people. Shouldn’t this be easier? I long for that time, months ago, when we all couldn’t wait to freely go outside. Now we can, mostly, but why am I struggling?
If I’m honest with myself, I feel like a bratty younger sister. I’m mad at people for not doing their part or not following the rules, even though the rules are mostly guidelines which most people are barely following.
To me, the guidelines seem pretty clear: Social distance (six feet) from those with whom are not in your household. Wear a mask when you enter any indoor spaces other than your home. Wear a mask outdoors when you’ll be within six feet of those not from your household. No hugging. Wash your hands.
Yet every day, I open up social media and I see friends and kids of friends with their arms around people not from their household. Or I see friends at a wedding. Or I see families and friends on vacation. Everyone hugging and hanging out close and sharing it all on social media. I need to stop looking because it makes me angry. I can’t help myself. If I'm honest, I'm jealous. I crave that kind of companionship but, other than my Mom, I don't have family in town.
It feels like everyone’s been given a different set of guidelines – like some people were told “go ahead and hang out with all your friends, as long as you’re outside.” Or "You'll be fine. Even if you get the virus, it's no big deal." Nobody’s perfect, but it also seems like nobody’s making an effort.
It also feels like people just grew tired and bored. As if, in their minds, they’re saying: “This is just taking too long. I’m tired of dealing with this.”
I completely understand that parents would REALLY like it if their kids could go back to school. But how safe is it? Every child comes from a different household. I’m frightened for the kids and especially for the teachers and staff. And some people don’t want the kids to have to wear masks. Further confusion. Look, I haven't sent my kids to school in a LONG time and I've never sent kids to school during a pandemic. It's got to be an excruciating decision. I also understand that working parents absolutely need some time and space to focus on their jobs. I'm not downplaying that at all. I fully support parents' wanting to get back to some sense of normalcy. But it currently feels like we're in a room in which everyone is shouting at each other and nobody is listening. Everyone feels they are right or they have the right...to do what they want...with no regard for others.
What makes me the saddest is that I had high hopes that our dealing with this virus would be the moment that divided America came together to do our best and stop the spread of this vicious disease. (It is NOT just the flu.) And at first, that seemed possible. And then people started demonstrating for restrictions to be lifted…and they were. Yet the moment they were lifted, it seemed like everyone thought it was all over. In some areas, there’s complete denial that we are still in a global pandemic.
I’m not a scientist, but we didn't shut down the country on a whim. Cases are spiking. EVERYONE’S actions have a domino effect. This is especially true because COVID can be spread by asymptomatic people. So, it’s a source of great frustration that people can’t be bothered to do the very least (wear a mask) in an effort to save the health and/or lives of those most vulnerable. How selfish are we?!
I’m not going to complain about my own situation. I have a more than comfortable home and nobody in our household has lost their job. I’ll do this for the long haul if it’ll help others.
But it’s incredibly hard to do this for the long haul when so many people don’t seem to care or be willing to do their part.
I’m really struggling right now. I haven’t seen my kids in nearly seven months and it’s weighing heavily on me. I worry about them every single day even though I know that they are doing everything in their power to stay safe. My Mom’s mental health is barely hanging on by a thread. She gets more confused by the day. The longer this goes on, the more she slips away.
Can’t we all just come together and just stop this thing in its tracks? If we all stepped outside our personal bubbles and thought of other people, it could make a huge difference.
Also, may I suggest that everyone think before they post a photo on social media. What you do and what you're seen doing influences other people. Let's be the leaders we need right now.
Sorry. Rant over.
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