The Living Will continue...so stop asking.

The other day, for about the 5th time, I sat in a meeting in which the following question was asked of one of my parents:

"So, do you have an advance directive set up?"

The person asking the question then explains (in kind of a patronizing way) that an advance directive (or Living Will) is an instruction to loved ones and to medical personnel regarding doing CPR or any type of resuscitation in case their heart stopped.

Later, my Mom said to me: "Why do they keep asking me this? It's starting to freak me out."

I couldn't agree more. Look, I understand WHY they are asking this of the elderly. They are the most likely to NEED a Living Will in the near future. Apparently, a memo went out to health care providers to start asking elderly patients, early and often, whether they have an advance directive. Here's what this question makes old people think: THEY ARE DYING....RIGHT NOW.

Seriously, isn't there a better way and time to ask this? Or, if they've already set up an advance directive, can we give them a sticker or a bracelet so people stop asking?!

Elderly people KNOW their clock is ticking. What they don't need is a constant reminder that time is of the essence. If they didn't feel like crap before they were asked this question, they sure do now.

Imagine someone asking you, Mr./Ms. Healthy Person, if you want to be resuscitated.  You think for a minute and then ask yourself "Am I ready to die?" Regardless of your answer, it's a little unsettling to be asked, isn't it?

How about if we ask people this question when they turn 50...when death seems to be WAY in the distance and not such a disturbing notion. Asking the elderly just seems mean.