Mad Man

I guess everyone ages differently. My Mom has become a sweet, gentle, compliant person who loves talking to anyone and everyone. My Dad, on the other hand, has become, for lack of a better word, boorish. In fact, if I think about it, their roles have sort of reversed.

I remember Mom being kind of crabby all the time when I was growing up. No doubt that was in large part due to having a moody, abrasive and self-centered daughter like me. I admit it. I was probably not very pleasant to be around. What I didn't realize is that her crabbiness could very much also be due to waiting hand and foot on my Dad.

Back in the day, Dad was probably one of the stereotypical "Mad Men." He made his living in advertising. Although not as classically handsome as Don Draper, he was all about the 3 martini lunches (although in his case it was scotch & soda) and the ordering around of the women-folk in his world. Funny, but I remember him as being extremely polite and generous almost to a fault. I watched him interact with others and he was socially a bit shy, but always took an interest in things around him. If I asked Mom, I think he spent a fair amount of time ordering her around. Not in a mean way but rather to sort of guide her through life. She deferred to him because he had an art degree and she had only a high school diploma. (Truth be told, she may have been the smarter one of the two.) She looked up to him and wanted to keep him happy. He was, perhaps, a taskmaster at home, but gracious and affable in public.

Today, here in our house and with us, he's anything but that. When we go out to eat, he practically steps over my Mom's words to place his food order first. It's such a weird vibe from him now - practically unrecognizable. As I do with so many things now, I try to find the source of anything negative. What makes him unhappy? Why does he look depressed? (If you think about it, I've taken on my Mom's role from the 1960's.)

To put it bluntly, Dad is mad. He's mad that he can't remember things. He's mad that things hurt. He's mad that he's not living in his own house. He's mad that he's got a 51-year old woman ordering him around and questioning whether he really did wash his hands. Basically, he's mad that he's old. When did that happen? When did he lose the funny, creative guy that he used to be? When did he wake up to find that absolutely nothing in his life is of any interest at all?

When I think about it that way, I'd be mad too.