Stare down

It's the staring that gets to me.

If I think of all of the things that bother me about our new roomies, most of them are just me being the crabbiest and least flexible or kind person on earth. I like things a certain way and there's no way anybody, least of all two 81 year olds, will fit into my idea of the perfect roommate.

But the staring gets me every time. After 3 months, I can can tell you, definitively, OLD PEOPLE SIT AND STARE AT NOTHING.

It drives me mad. I sit next to my hubby on the couch, look out on the deck and see my Dad sitting, not reading or sleeping, but staring at NOTHING. Then here's the conversation that takes place:

Me: Look at him. How does he do that?
Hubby: Do what?
Me: SIT AND STARE AT NOTHING?
Hubby: It's his life, why does it matter?
Me: Because his life is now in MY house and it drives me CRAZY!

Sometimes my parents sit together and stare at nothing...together. They don't talk. They just sit and stare. Then my Mom will punctuate the silence with a question of my Dad. Typically an inane question that really requires no answer...and usually receives none.

But the worst...the ABSOLUTE WORST...is when I go in the library and Dad is sitting in there alone. The TV is on but muted. He's staring at the screen. And then this conversation takes place:

Me: Dad, what are you watching?
Dad: NCIS
Me: Why is it muted?
Dad: Because I've seen this one and I don't want to watch it.
Me: Then why don't you watch something else?
Dad: Because I don't want to. 


*Cut to me walking away, shaking head in disbelief.*

I know that while they are sitting and staring, they are sometimes thinking about things. I know this because sometimes, after a mini stare-fest, my Mom will make a beeline toward me and then ask some crazy question about the Assisted Living facility where they will, hopefully, move in a few weeks (more about this later.) Or, more typically, she will talk about her belongings and then simply say: "I need to sort through some things." I swear to God, she has said that sentence at least 50 times in the past week. For God's sake, Woman, SORT, SORT, SORT!!!

But I guess therein lies the mystery of old people. They have thoughts, but the execution of those thoughts and/or desires is simply beyond their abilities.

Or, as Little Feat said in the great song "Old Folks Boogie:

And you know that you're over the hill
When your mind makes a promise that your body can't fill