Reflections on Dad

My Dad has never been a very preachy guy. He was never one to offer sage words of advice. Literally the only thing I remember him saying to me was "Quit your bellyaching," which is something I repeated to him the other day when he complained about what "torture" one of his daily walks was.

I'm sure part of it was the fact that his own father passed away when he was only five years old. In terms of father figures that Dad had, it was probably my uncle who was nearly a lifelong bachelor (until a moderately pushy lady married him) and Cubs fan. Dad really had nobody to teach him how to be a father and/or a husband. He did both imperfectly and yet, as well as he could.

No, Dad's way of teaching lessons was usually by example. The only lesson my Dad actually demonstrated was why you shouldn't address an envelope with a felt tip pen. He did so and then ran said envelope under the faucet so I could see the ink run. I'm not sure why he felt that was important to know but it has left an impression on me.

In his daily life, he demonstrated a work ethic unmatched by most. I NEVER remember Dad staying home sick from work. He worked harder than everyone and tried like hell to prove that an art school education was just as good as a college degree.

He loved learning things and he loved organizing. Oh and when he loved something, he did it repeatedly. He enjoyed things that most would consider best left to youth. Sometimes I would call him and he'd want to talk about the MTV Awards or the Grammys. He'd ask my opinion about pop stars. Some days, he acted younger than me.

Dad never was very demonstrative but you knew that he loved you. To this day, my favorite birthday card was one that he designed when I turned 16 that said: "I'm so proud of the way that you have conducted yourself as a young lady." To think I had impressed him made me happy beyond words.

What truly defined Dad was his career as an amateur race car driver. It was Dad's hobby that sucked all of us in. It made my Dad different than every other kid's dad. It became our vacation plan every summer. It made him feel young and daring. In many ways, it became the most interesting thing about him. It also created a poignant moment when I realized that I had to take his car keys away. Today Dad is a mere shadow of the man that he used to be. I know that it bothers him immensely to feel that he has no strength or that he's just like every other old guy.  To me, he's not.

Miraculously, I managed to marry a guy that not only makes Dad proud because of his intelligence and strength, but also has taken such great care of our kids, me and my parents. I have no doubt that our son has such incredible role models when he becomes a husband and father.