Last night, we took Mom and Dad out for dinner. This is no small effort because it requires a long, pre-trip discussion of which restaurants have stairs vs. ramps and which ones allow us to park close to the door. (Yes, we've applied for the handicapped tag. No, we haven't gotten one yet.)
So we settled on a local sports bar that serves a decent fish fry. I'm getting completely used to the hubub surrounding our entrance to a restaurant. Some of us hold the door, some of us lead the way, some of us find places to park the walker. This is all a way of saying: It's pretty damn obvious that WE HAVE AN OLD PERSON IN OUR GROUP.
After about 10 minutes, we finally settled at a comfortable table and could relax.
Approximately mid-way through our meal, a party of two arrived in the bar/restaurant. It was two women, one of which was quite old and had her own walker. She also had a severe case of osteoporosis. (Note to self: DRINK MILK...LOTS OF MILK.) She was trying to get past our table and her companion was helping her navigate with the walker. She walked in a very hunched over manner, poor thing.
So, we're sitting there, in kind of a small room in which only 3 tables are filled and it's not very loud. (This is meant to explain that anything said at any table could be heard by any other table.)
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Dad says: "There's a woman over there without any head."
*Cut to me, burying my face in my hands.*
Seriously, Dad? You, who can barely shuffle anywhere are going to make fun of another senior citizen?! I call you on a flagrant foul against your own generation. Stop throwing boulders in that glass house you have.
I should also mention just moments earlier Dad whispers to the waitress: "Do you have a cushion I can sit on?" (Because his butt hurts...all the time...BECAUSE HE SITS ON HIS ASS ALL DAY LONG.)
Must...not...be...angry....
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